


you don’t have to say i love you to say i love you

by haechair



Series: just a bunch of fools in love [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:47:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24409039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haechair/pseuds/haechair
Summary: Five times Donghyuck feels like Mark’s saying ‘I love you’ to him and one time he really hears it.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Series: just a bunch of fools in love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1762681
Kudos: 194





	you don’t have to say i love you to say i love you

**Author's Note:**

> title from troye sivan’s ‘for him’ :>

Donghyuck feels a thumb swipe over his lower lip and he also feels his loud beating heart on his chest when he saw that it was Mark. 

Mark who was right in front of him, eyes wide focused on the ice cream melting in his hands. Mark who was wearing a red shirt and his glasses. He looks so cute. Donghyuck thinks.

He looks innocent and soft. Like he’s clueless and Donghyuck wants nothing but to protect Mark from this harsh world they live in. Except that Mark’s not.

Mark’s not innocent nor soft nor clueless. Mark is smart, Donghyuck thinks. He know what he’s doing. When he looks at Donghyuck with those big, glowing eyes that Donghyuck could never resist, he thinks Mark is terrible for doing that to him. Mark knows that Donghyuck’s all over him. That he’s weak for the other (and Mark uses it to his advantage)

So, of course, he knows how to make Donghyuck flustered and clumsy.

Donghyuck doesn’t realize he’s staring until Mark snapped him out of it. “Hyuck!”

Mark waved his other hand on his face. Donghyuck snorts and removed his waving hand in front of him. Mark laughed and it’s like honey to Donghyuck’s ears. Donghyuck wants to hear it, again and again.

“How’s school?” Mark says after a long silence when they started walking towards their houses.

“We’re classmates.” Donghyuck answers, plainly.

You guessed it. Mark and Donghyuck are neighbors and classmates and also best friends and maybe could be a couple too-

“It’s finals soon,” Mark groaned, ignoring his little fact check earlier, “I’ll have to review and I’m not gonna see you often. I’ll miss you.” Mark bites to his ice cream and stares ahead like he just didn’t made Donghyuck’s cheeks heat up. He says it like it’s just normal and simple.

Donghyuck’s heart says otherwise, though.

“I can go to your house.” Donghyuck suggests, expectant.

“And bother me? I’m never gonna be able to study.” Mark sighed.

Donghyuck smirks, “You’re admitting that I steal too much of your attention?”

He jokes about it but his voice sounds like he wants to hear something else from Mark.

Mark looks at him, his eyes telling him that he’s unbelievable, and shakes his head. “You really are just annoying, Hyuck.”

“Well, at least I still steal your attention.” 

-

_Donghyuck thinks Mark’s also in love with him._

_Renjun, on the other note, visibly disagrees. With the violent shake of his head and the way his arms crosses, Donghyuck can see that Renjun’s very opposed. “You can’t assume that he’s in love with you when he hasn’t really said anything to you.” Is what Renjun reasons for his lack of support on his friend’s love life._

_“Actions speak louder than words.” Donghyuck uses the over used and ragged line of all time to prove his point and he hears Renjun mumble under his breath._

_“Dumb ass.”_

Donghyuck stares at Renjun and sticked his tongue out at him. Proving his case that Mark is, indeed, in love with him. They’re on the soccer field, watching Jeno play (and Jaemin who’s happily jumping on the side whenever Jeno does something, good or bad) and Donghyuck doesn’t even ask for it but Mark snakes his arm around Donghyuck’s waist, securing him on his place. He has his arms crossed across his chest and is slightly leaning towards Mark to support his weight. Renjun just rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

Donghyuck grins and looks at the whole soccer field. Full of students who are either 1. has an actual interest on the sport or 2. has a crush on a player (or on their coach, Yuta) or 3. has their crushes beside them and is taking advantage of the situation. Donghyuck belongs on the third category, obviously. 

They look like a couple and Donghyuck’s visibly happy about it. Mark, however, is focused on the game with his left arm firm on Donghyuck’s waist. With his eyebrows furrowed and eyes so focused in the game. Donghyuck does his very best to focus on the game rather than on Mark’s cute facial expressions.

Donghyuck finally focuses on the game as it reach its end, totally favorable to Jeno’s team. For the most part of the game, they were standing and was on the same position. Donghyuck feels like he’s walking on cloud nine and he’s sure his smile outshined the sun already for how much bright it is.

What breaks their position is Jeno being pushed and falling to the ground, gripping his leg. Fear and panic both washes over Donghyuck as he runs towards Jeno but is restricted by Yuta from actually going inside the field.

“Jeno!” Jaemin shouts from the barricade separating the audience and the players. Jeno opened his one eye and smiled at Jaemin, shows a thumbs up and slowly stood up, dusting himself as he runs for the ball, again.

Donghyuck sighs in relief and removes his hand on Yuta’s arm and steps backwards. Falling back to Mark’s.

-

It is the day before they decided to start studying for their finals. They’re all inside the convenient store, sitted and facing the stained glass window. Behind it are the cars flashing across and people walking and buzzing. The street lights and the lights from the stores and the light from the cars and also the moon are the ones who illuminate the whole street. Donghyuck devours the warm cup of ramen in his hand and Mark who’s in his right hands him a tissue and Donghyuck accepts, wiping his mouth.

They could’ve just went to somewhere more exciting than a convenience store (with a sulky guy behind the counter) but he still enjoys the company of his friends and the amount of delicious food Donghyuck could eat. (and also, Mark’s hand on his lower back)

It’s Jeno’s treat because they won their game and Donghyuck plans on savoring every penny on Jeno’s wallet.

“We’re graduating high school already.” Renjun suddenly starts after a few minutes of them just slurping through their food, not talking nor even attempting to.

“What are your plans?” Renjun asks after his sentence, right away.

Donghyuck drinks from the water bottle Mark passes him and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and smiles at Mark who’s staring at him. He switches his focus from Mark to Renjun to account his question.

“Go to college.” Donghyuck answered, honestly.

He didn’t look like he would but he would. Donghyuck didn’t really realize this until only recently. He likes to perform and sing. So, he’s pursuing that in college. Jeno and Jaemin both answers but he’s too preoccupied by the way Mark’s eyes loses focus with the question thrown at him. 

Donghyuck realizes they haven’t really talked about their futures. When Mark just shrugged and Renjun let it pass, he was certain that he’ll bother Mark into saying his real plans.

So, he does. On their way home. Under the million stars gazing upon them. They’re walking shoulder to shoulder, both warm from the warmth of each other’s bodies and Donghyuck wants to curl more next to Mark so he’ll feel more warm but he takes the idea aside for a moment.

“Come on! I know you have, Mark. I know you. You’re a planner. You have plans after high school!”

“Shh!” Mark shushes him with a finger on his lips. He brings it down and stops walking.

Donghyuck stops too and just stares at Mark’s broad back. He waits and Mark finally faced him after a few minutes. Mark’s face under the moonlight is absolutely mesmerizing and beautiful. Donghyuck doesn’t let that faze him, though.

He focuses on the tired state of Mark’s eyes. Mark looks up at him, “I do have plans...” he slowly says as he feels Mark’s hand slowly creep up to his. Intertwining their hands and Donghyuck feels warm and nice and he wants to stay like this, forever.

“What is it?” He managed to ask before he even forgets and focuses on the way his stomach turns with the way Mark’s palm flats over his. 

“Go to Canada..” Mark whispers it so quietly that Donghyuck barely catches it but he did.

Donghyuck doesn’t know what to feel first. Too many emotions flooding all at once. He’s happy for Mark because there is where his mother is. Also, he’ll miss him so bad. The thought of being away from Mark scares him a little. In the end, Donghyuck smiles and beams at him.

-

Donghyuck met Mark when they were 3. They did play together until Donghyuck bullied Mark when they were 6. Of course, Mark’s mom was upset and didn’t let Donghyuck be her son’s friend again.

Donghyuck apologized later on (with a whole lot of nudges from his mom) and he’s glad he did. If he didn’t then he wouldn’t be looking at Mark with a smile on his face, eyes squinting from the blinding sun with a dripping wet hair and a wet shirt glued to his body. The sun is out and bright. It’s hot but the wind’s blowing harshly making his hair messy. 

He’s sitting above the yellowish sand just observing his friends push and pull each other into the sea with its savage waves. Donghyuck will jump to the sea later. He’s watching over their things with a pair of sunglasses on top of his nose. Mark turned to him and smirked.

Donghyuck, knowing absolutely what’s on Mark’s mind, immediately stands up and runs. 

He’s correct when Mark started running after him. Donghyuck ran with his long legs with Mark chasing him at the back. It didn’t last that long when he felt a pair of arms wrapping him and lifting him off the ground.

“Mark!” Donghyuck half screams and half laughs.

Mark laughs too and brings him down but is still enveloping him in his arms. Mark leans down and Donghyuck stiffens when he felt something soft on his skin. The skin that connects the neck and shoulder, there. Donghyuck wonders if it’s still Mark hugging him or just some random guy. Something flips in Donghyuck’s chest and he knows this feeling too well. Felt it so many times. He feels Mark’s heartbeat against his back.

_“He hasn’t said anything yet, Donghyuck.” Renjun sighs and drops his face into his palm.  
_

_Donghyuck frowns, “Why can’t you just be supportive of me?”_

_“Because, if Mark doesn’t have any plans on telling you, right to your face, that he loves you,” Renjun says with his brows furrowed, looking serious but his face softened when he lets the rest of his sentence out of his mouth, “you’ll get hurt.”_

Donghyuck wonders if Mark has any plans on taking whatever this is into something more. There’s so many visible happenings around them and he thinks about all the invisible feelings just floating in the air. Waiting to be acknowledged.

“Hey! Love birds!” Donghyuck silently curses Jaemin on the back of his mind as Mark raises his head and turned back. Leaving Donghyuck cold despite the hot weather without Mark’s warm body to cover him.

-

Donghyuck touches the white piece of envelope with his trembling hands. His mom’s on the side, hands clutched on her chest and her husband behind, just staring. The content of this envelope determines Donghyuck’s future. It’s the last university he applied to and he’ll now find out whether he got in or not.

Donghyuck releases a shaky breath, nervous. He slowly rips the envelope and unfolded the paper inside. He reads every word carefully, eager to understand each and every word written on it.

‘We are please to inform you-’

“AAAH!”

Donghyuck screams and runs to his mother’s arms. He got in! Donghyuck felt so happy and excited. Excited for the things he’ll be experiencing in college. He felt his heart burst with so many emotions. His mother hugged him tightly and he also felt his father wrapping the both of them.

Donghyuck let his eyes wander to where Mark’s house is. He’s probably on his bedroom, playing his guitar or writing songs. Donghyuck didn’t waste any more time and ran towards his house. He pressed the doorbell once with eagerness. Excitement filling him.

The door swings open and he was greeted by Mark’s father. “Donghyuck!” He greets with a wide grin on his face.

His father looks only a bit like Mark. He thinks Mark probably got most of his features from his mom.

“I got in!” Donghyuck beamed and showed the paper on his hands.

Being friends and classmates, Donghyuck and Mark’s family became familiar and close to each other. Mark’s father smiled more and enveloped Donghyuck in a warm hug. He congratulated him and let him off ran to their stairs.

Donghyuck ran towards Mark’s room and pushed it open and he was correct. There sitted, Mark on his bed and a guitar on his lap. Mark looked up, confused and puzzled. Donghyuck calmed himself down and closed the door behind him. He slowly walks to Mark, the paper hidden behind him.

When he was in front of Mark, he pulled the paper out and showed him. “I got in!”

Mark’s mouth fell open and immediately dropped his guitar, standing up and hugging Donghyuck. They jumped together and smiled.

“Congratulations! I knew you were gonna get in! They’ll be stupid not to accept you.”

Donghyuck can’t help but to blush from the compliments Mark gives him. He laughs and mustered the most smug expression on his face.

“I know, right?”

The way Mark’s eyes glow while looking at him. You can see all the feelings right through his eyes. Mark’s eyes speak right through him and tell him that the owner of those eyes loves him. Donghyuck thinks that that’s enough for him. He doesn’t need to hear the words.

-

Okay, maybe Donghyuck was lying. He wants to hear those three words from Mark. But he knows he can’t force it out of Mark. But he can’t wait. Both of them are heading to college and he knows that if nothing happens today, it’s over. After graduation and a planned outing to Jeno’s beach house, Donghyuck is still not officially Mark Lee’s boyfriend and he’s bummed about it. But when the day that Mark’s gonna be heading to Canada came, he can barely think about Mark being his boyfriend anymore.

He sits down on the bench at the airport, feeling the cold bench under his thighs. He sighs, eyeing Mark talking about something with his dad, back facing Donghyuck.

He feels the other side of the bench dip and hears a grunt. “You look like you didn’t get to eat an ice cream and annoy someone today which are both the requirements for a merry Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck looks at Renjun who’s just staring ahead. He wants to talk back, say something that will completely annoy Renjun but he knows he’s not too much in the mood for that. Renjun is serious anyways.

“You haven’t told him?” Renjun asks.

“No.”

Donghyuck has never told Mark about his feelings. Maybe because he just thought it was clear. The late nights he’s spent in Mark’s room, the sneaky glances and smiles he’s thrown at Mark at class (despite being literally on the opposite sides of the room). He just thought it was already out in the open and he thought Mark feels the same.

Yet, after all those years, nothing. Maybe he thought wrong. 

“Why didn’t you?”

“It’s not important, anymore.” Donghyuck sighed again. “I just don’t want him to leave, you know? It doesn’t even matter if he tells me he loves me too or what. I just wanna be with him.”

“Well, one is inevitable.” Donghyuck turns to look at Renjun again and this time Renjun looks back at him. “The other one, however, I think we can do something about it.”

“Huh?” Before even Donghyuck can ask what Renjun meant, Mark’s already in front of him, smiling softly. Renjun stands up, patting Mark’s back before going to where Jeno and Jaemin are.

Donghyuck stands up, “Hey..” he greets weakly. 

Mark laughs at his face and he knows why. Donghyuck probably looks the saddest person on earth right now. He rolls his eyes at Mark. Mark raises his hand and held Donghyuck’s elbows, shooting electricity up to his spine.

“Donghyuck.” Mark calls but Donghyuck lets his eyes stay on the ground. “Baby, look at me, please.”

Donghyuck looks up at that, eyes wide and a lump stuck in his throat making it hard to speak. “W-What?”

Mark chuckles at that, nervously, cheeks tinted with red. His other hand goes up to rub the back of his neck. “I know I should have probably done this earlier but..I don’t know, I’m just stupid.” Mark grins at him.

Donghyuck is confused. He doesn’t know what Mark is talking about. “What?”

Mark bit his lip and opened his mouth and Donghyuck hears it. For the first time. After all those years of waiting. He hears it from Mark’s mouth. Words coming out, clear and precise. “I love you.”

Donghyuck has dreamt of this exact moment so many times and he can feel his heart pounding because it’s true. It’s not a dream. Mark said those three words-

“H-Hey.”

Donghyuck snapped out of his thoughts “I love you, too.”

He says too instantly. Almost like a reflex. Probably because of how many times he’s practiced it. Donghyuck closed his eyes and mentally cringed (this is not how he dreamt of it). He’s not even sure if Mark means it like that. (Deep down he thinks Mark means it that way) 

Mark laughs and pulls him closer. “I know this is not the best time to ask this but, Donghyuck?”

“Hm?”

Donghyuck feels his heart beat faster every word that comes out of Mark’s lips.

“Can you be my boyfriend?”

“Fuck yes!” Donghyuck shouted (a little too loud) and pulled Mark to a kiss, muffling a pleasant sound out of Mark.

He parts and sees a smiling Mark. Which he mirrors with his own smile. Mark laughs, again.

With Donghyuck’s hands on Mark’s cheeks, he looks up to where Renjun is. “See? I told you!”

Renjun just rolls his eyes and shakes his head like usual but the only difference is the smile plastered on his face.


End file.
